Many of us have learned as a child that they have to do and be a lot in order to be loved and praised. Just being loved because you are you seems rare. “She is so sweet, she sleeps through the night.” It is something small. But we learn early on that being loved is primarily about doing things for the other person and not being a burden. To be loved because you are you.
Unconditional love. It turns out to be a rare thing. Many of our parents have learned that too. Patterns, pain, it is passed on. It is projected. Generation on generation.
Just Being is not enough.
The rejection that you experienced as a child is the self rejection of the care taker, teachers, people from your family. To be able to love the other person unconditionally is an option when you have learned to love yourself unconditionally. And that is where the shoe pinches. You yourself, you as you are have come to believe that you are not good enough. You have put the parts that you have learned that they were less welcome into the refrigerator and you adapt to what you think the other person wants to see from you.
Because you believe in the undercurrent you are not to be enough, you are going to do your very best to be good enough that. You’ll block yourself out of the way, what you feel s les important than how the other precies you. You say yes to overwork job number 88 while you feel that you need rest, you are fake happy everywhere, you are always afraid to fall through the basket and they will see who you really are (how unworthy) you do it all as well as possible. But it is never enough.
What we believe deeply about ourselves that we are we meet in the outside world. A belief wants to be confirmed otherwise she dies.
It is important that you learn to love yourself, that you learn to trust and befriend yourself. Everything you have put in the shadow, all the adapted behavior….. Become aware of it. When you really can be yourself, the way you experience your life will change. Get to know yourself truly. Work with the root. Learn to love yourself again.
The connection with our SELF is never gone. You can never not be in contact with Self, with Soul. Turn within.